Do People Get Stoned at Work?

February 7, 2009 at 1:19 am | Posted in Do People Get Stoned at Work? | 14 Comments
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Dear Mr. Answers:

The other day a co-worker of mine suggested that he and I “smoke a doobie” together before going into work. I was appalled at the suggestion, and said that in my opinion no one in the world ever worked at their job while high on marijuana or anything else. To this my friend laughed so hard it took about two minutes before he was finally able to ask me what planet I was from. But he’s definitely the smart-alecky type anyway.

So my question to you is, Mr. Answers, is: Do people ever work at their jobs while they’re stoned? I say they don’t—but will defer to your expert opinion.


Doubting Friend of Brian Shields

Dear Doubting Friend of Brian Shields:

Like you, I, too, used to believe that no one would dare to work while stoned. But that happy illusion was shattered for me just recently, when I  opened up the brand new food processor I’d purchased at a home improvement center and found, connected to the appliance’s electrical chord, the tag below. If this doesn’t say, “I wonder if we’d get higher if we drank this bong water?”, I don’t know what does.


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  1. I shutter to imagine the circumstances that led to the creation of this sine. Oops I meen sign.

  2. Des: Your response totally cracked me up. Thanks for such a great laugh!

  3. Dude, it’s red, too. I like red. It’s like the color of a lazy afternoon.

    If the people at my office aren’t high, then I feel very sad that I’m seeing their normal state. I’d rather give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that everyone I see is having a moment of drug-induced hallucinogenic straight up monkey crazy. And surely once it passes they’re all perfectly functional citizens once again.

  4. I have never smoked a doobie before work.

    I use one of those fake cigarette one-hitters.

  5. Fake Cigarette One Hitter

  6. Oh no.

  7. Now, see, THAT coulda saved Michael Phelps one whole heckuva lot of trouble …

  8. I did write Kellogg’s today to say that I will be boycotting their products no matter how bad I have the munchies because of what they did to poor Mr. Phelps.

  9. So folks just to be clear here.. we’re havin a little bit of fun but I don’t really take entheogens of any kind before or at work. Other than massive amounts of Diet Coke, of course.

    As for what I do after work, I will just say that I do believe the Constitution has an implied right to privacy.

    None of which is to say that we can’t all enjoy the gag.


  10. So you’re into BDSM, too? Wow. You hedonists really go all out.

  11. I would reply but I was raised not to talk when my mouth was full.

  12. you are too, too funny. i love it.

  13. Oh man, you really should pay attention to what you and readers are doing to your tags. These two stand out:
    “Alexander Graham Bell bong” & “Wal-Mart weed.”

  14. “Do people ever work at their jobs while they’re stoned?”

    I’d say Congress is demonstrating signs of being under the influence. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be pushing an $800 billion spending spree.

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