What is a “nudist”?

February 10, 2009 at 2:56 am | Posted in What is a nudist? | 9 Comments
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Dear Mr. Answers:

While eating out the other night I overheard a man say to his wife that he “suspected” that some of their mutual acquaintances were nudists. I realized I’m not actually sure what a nudist is. Help?—Curious in Stockton

Dear Curious:

At what eatery did you overhear people discussing nudists, of all things? Red Lobster? Rock Bottom? Fuddruckers? Chi-Chi’s? Smokey Bones? Sticky Fingers? Long John Silver’s?

Le Peep?

No, but seriously: Nudists are a benign subculture of society whose members hold that if God had intended for people to wear clothing, he wouldn’t have made them so hairy and fat. Nudists love suntanning, playing volleyball, walking hand in hand, and giving bird-watchers heart attacks. After peaking in the 1960s, the number of nudists began to dwindle during the 1970s, when more and more of them finally succumbed to the temptation of wearing polyester pants suits. Those nudists left behind dwindled at a rate generally consistent with the number of times they accidentally sat on pine cones.

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