Tags: fetish, leather fetish, Mr. Answers, No life, rubber fetish, scary readers, sexual fetishist, shoe fetish
Q. What is a sexual fetishist?
A. Mr. Answers is seriously beginning to wonder about who, exactly, is reading him.
Anyway, “sexual fetishist” is a term speech therapists employed as an articulation exercise until the mid-1950’s, when their patients started suing them. Perhaps the therapists were unaware that a sexual fetishist is a person who associates with the sexual act an object which a normal person would be more inclined to associate with a bad garage sale. Although the three most common sexual fetishes are for rubber, shoes, and leather, almost any inanimate object can become the focus of a sexual fetish: lamps, bedroom slippers, clock radios, flatwear, and so on. The fact is that if you can find it in a JC Penny’s catalog, you can find someone who enjoys dressing it in lingerie.
While it is possible to have more than one sexual fetish at a time, multifetishism is not recommended. For one, it can put an undo amount of strain on one’s imagination, since as the number of objects de’ fetish increase, so does the challenge of working each object into one congruous sexual fantasy. For instance, a person possessed of fetishes for rubber, shoes, and leather might have to think for days before conjuring up what for him would be the ultimate sexual image: Bozo in a wet suit sitting on a cow. Of course, as with all endeavors, practice makes perfect: soon, just the fantasy of a cow wearing rubber galoshes might do the trick.
While it is possible for a sexual fetishist to be cured, it happens rarely. In Chicago recently a man with a leather fetish was spontaneously healed when a woman on the subway with him unwittingly snapped her purse shut on his nose. Early research suggests it’s possible to cure a rubber fetishist by dressing him in a rain slicker, fitting him into a tractor tire, and rolling him down a hill. Shoe fetishes are the easiest to cure: few can maintain their podiatric passion once they’ve contracted their first case of athlete’s nose.
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